


I'm Fucking Sorry.

by moldymilk



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Depression, Dialogue-Only, Heavy Angst, M/M, Suicide, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 05:48:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11396583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moldymilk/pseuds/moldymilk
Summary: yo sorry for not writing more i jsut cant fidn the energy to continue working on the sequel and it doesnt help that im gonna start uploading once i finish it but heres some good Angst





	I'm Fucking Sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> yo sorry for not writing more i jsut cant fidn the energy to continue working on the sequel and it doesnt help that im gonna start uploading once i finish it but heres some good Angst

"Fuck off, Hansen."  
  
"I-I just want to  _help_ , Connor!"  
  
"Help someone else. Someone who  _wants_ help."  
  
"I'm not leaving until you admit some of your problems. It doesn't have to be all of them, just some. A start."

-

"So, what movie do you wanna watch?"

"I'm not trying to judge o-or anything, but how are you okay that quickly? Two seconds ago you were c-crying hysterically."

"It's called repressing your feelings, dearest Evan."

"....."

"You're fucking adorable when you blush."

"Can we just shut up and watch some movie already?"

"Only if you relax."

-

"Hey Connor?"

"Ev it's four in the fucking morning."

"B-but you're awake."

"Damn right I am. What's crackalackin'?"

"We're friends, right?"

"Definitely."

"G-good."

"Why?"

"N-nevermind"

"Evan?"

"......."

"Don't you dare fucking roll over Evan, what's wrong?"

"It's n-nothing, Connor."

"If you say so."

-

"Evan?"

"Dammit Ev, pick up"

"EVAN PICK THE FUCK UP"

"h-hello?"

"thank god. Listen, I fucked up. Can I spend the night at your house?"

"Yeah. The door's unlocked."

"You're my best friend, you know that?"

"T-thanks. You're my best friend too."

-

"Connor?"

"...."

"Connor."

"Fuck do you want?"

"You-you're not high again, are you?"

"So fucking what if I am? It's not like anyone cares."

"I care."

"No you don't"

"I do, Con. I care more than you know."

"My ass."

"I do care. Enough to w-want to date you."

"I like you too, Ev."

"S-so are we like, dating now?"

"Fuck yeah."

-

"The stars are so beautiful tonight."

"You know what's more beautiful?"

"You because you're my star."

"God fucking dammit Evan, I'm trying to be a sappy boyfriend here."

-

"Con, please don't do this."

"OR WHAT, HANSEN? WHAT WILL YOU DO IF I LEAVE RIGHT NOW AND NEVER COME BACK?"

"I don't want you to leave. Just stay with me."

"WHY? NO ONE BESIDES YOU WOULD FUCKING CARE IF I DIED."

"Z-Zoe, and your parent-"

"HAVE YOU NOT BEEN FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING? THEY DON'T CARE, THEY NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL."

"JUST STAY, CONNOR."

"Fine."

-

"Dude, consider this: horses, but with thumbs."

"You're high."

"We're in your basement. I'm low."

"God, I love you."

"You're actually so fucking adorable."

-

"C-Connor?"

"WHAT NOW, HANSEN."

"Can you just t-try calming down?"

"SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THAT'S ALL PEOPLE FUCKING SAY TO ME. I'LL CALM DOWN WHEN I FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT. OH, AND BY THE WAY, CONGRATS FOR HAVING THE SAME FUCKING METHODS OF DEALING WITH MY PROBLEMS AS LARRY AND ZOE."

"Th-that's not what I meant, Con."

"FUCKING REALLY?"

"What I meant to say was..."

"RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT."

"Connor, please."

"GET THE FUCK OUT. NOW. BEFORE I HURT YOU. BECAUSE I FUCKING WILL."

"........"

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit."

"......"

"Evan? Can you hear me?"

"......"

"I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that, Ev?"

"...T-thanks."

"Don't thank me. I gave you the panic attack."

-

"Evan, pick up."

-

"Evan? I know I said some fucked shit, I'm sorry."

-  
"Fuck. What did I do? Why do you never pick up the phone? Why are you always avoiding me in school?"

-

"Evan?"

"This is Heidi, Evan's mom. Can I help you?"

"Can I talk to him?"

"Sure, just let me give him his phone."

"Evan?"

"Connor."

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Personal shit."

"Okay."

-

"Fuck Evan, I'm so fucking sorry. I-I should've pressed a bit. I could have done more to help. This is my fault, this is my fault, this is my fault. It should be me that they're burying, not you. I could've done everything, but I didn't. That's my biggest regret. I miss you. You said I was your star, but you were my sun. You still are. You just, you did so much for me and I did jack shit in return. I'm fucking sorry."

 

**Author's Note:**

> i actually can't write anything without angst


End file.
